The Evening Star

Once upon a time there lived a young princess. Each night she would gaze out her window and wish upon the evening star that every dream within her heart would come true. As she grew older, the wishing grew less and less until the evening star was nothing but a lingering hope within the distance.

Fairy tales are the hope of every young girl. To find that perfect someone and share a happily ever after with them. Tomorrow my Big sister of Alpha Phi begins her happily ever after with her long awaited Prince Charming. It is hard for me to believe that after all this time of wishing on stars and coordinating weddings that I finally am blessed of watching  those closest to me experience the happiness that goes along with them. But beyond the fantasy of it all, the reality dwells deep within my mind.

Tonight as I drove home from my second wedding rehearsal, music played in the background and I stared out into the starry night sky. And sure enough the evening star found it's way into my view, even if it was in my rear view mirror. At twenty one, I still hold on to that dream, of one day finding someone. But honestly, as of now, my life is still something I'm in the process of figuring out. How can I possibly expect to allow someone in, if I am still searching for an understanding of myself? Someday I'll be ready for that step in my life, but for now I remained blessed to watch the two women closest in my life, my Glinda and my Big Sister, find their own happily ever after.

Now it is on to a new chapter in life. A chapter where the young princess reliqueshes a connection with her other princess friends as they begin a new chapter with their Prince Charming's. A chapter where the young princess will begin to branch out on her own, establishing herself, and accomplishing dreams that she wished upon the evening star for decades. Each princess has their own journey, and this one hopes that their paths continue to cross for years and years. Until then, let their happily ever afters take place with an enchanted "I Do". And let the young princess gaze out her window once more to "I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight."

Peter Pan Syndrome

Second star to the right and straight on till morning. If only finding Neverland were so simple. It is difficult for me to understand how time has flown so quickly by, how in one moment I'm walking down the isle as a three year old flower girl and the next a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. When did I grow up?

Age is simple when boiled down. Year by year we progress, move forward in our lives. Yet in this moment, the eve of a wedding, the actuality of age hits me. In one year I have left my University home, sought a full time career, prepared to buy an apartment, and witnessed (or will witness) the engagements and marriages of multiple friends. What ever happened to listening to boy bands or playing with dolls?

The future is exciting, in ways. I look forward to having a classroom of my own, and yet the uncertainty of not knowing every detail of life becomes a terror unlike anything I have ever faced. Whats more, the pressure of the future has left me in question. Not of my career, not of myself, but perhaps of ties in the past left loose without a proper ending. It becomes the question of "have I known the answer all along, yet was too blind to acknowledge the truth?" Perhaps the answer is yes, but then again that certainty will only come with time. Time and days gone by. Days gone by to months, then years. To think of growing up, of letting everything in my comfort zone dissipate.... it's the most terrifying and exciting sensation.